Leaving for Tour Today!!!

So so so fucking excited to leave already!!!!! ( i’ll have you know that my computer is hella broken and isn’t letting me see what I type unless I highlight it. GAAAAAY) anyways. I’m super stoked because now I’ll have things to post about- like spitting in dudes faces and eating Turkey ( or tofurkey for my vegan life) dinner with my friends in LA on Thanksgiving, or just general retardedness…. This also comes with a little bit of sadness as I’m sort of changing my entire life after this trip. I’m moving back to Los Angeles after a year’s stint in Chicago, IL.. It will be good to get back to my close friends and my real life family, but it also sucks because I’m leaving this place behind. Chicago is a wonderful city, full of AMAZING food and new friends and adventures that I’ve gotten myself into. I wish it wasn’t full of artic bleak coldness here, because I would probably stay-  But enough of that sap shit… I have to sew a couple shirts for the road and I also have to get my fucking packing life together…. Oh yeah, I’m an asshole and didn’t pack until the day before I leave for tour. Good one little!!!! ok. I’m sort of irritated that I can’t see what I m typing, and I’m tired of highlighting things on my screen.

xoxo.

sara

LOYALTY

hello.

so lately i have been troubled by the amount of fuckery going on within my circle of friends. a lot of riff raff going on these days. people feeling dissed, left out, back-stabbed. just a general lack of respect and loyalty.

tonight, i am fully disgusted.

i have a friend who will remain nameless, who is being a straight up pervert.

as a little back story, i have been close with the majority of my friends since the year 2000/2001. this particular group of friends all know each other. we love each other. we are family. we stick together. well, we used to. over the years one friend and i dated here and there. we love each other dearly as friends now, and everyone is well aware of our history. out of all of my drunken/horny/lonely nights i have never given a sex-eye to anyone of the other males in said group. no way, no how. not my style.

apparently, the male species need a little more training in the field of “bros before hos”.

i am taking the opportunity to call him out right now. along with any other dude that thinks he can step to me.

this will be your lesson learned (i hope).

2:10am-

anonymous: “let me know when you are ready to cheat on the new dork.”

me: “yeah right. there are plenty of girls out there, *****. try finding one that isn’t your homie’s ex old-lady.”

anonymous: “what fun is that? that won’t send me to hell.”

me: “you can go get fucked. all faggots go to hell. goodnight.”

class dismissed!

heather

NEW THRASH!

i’m listening to this.

thank you to derek who tried to give this to me, and to jeremiah for succeeding. you guys rule.

it’s almost 1:30am and i just realized i had this on much too loud to comply with my renter’s agreement.

my upstairs neighbor (this woman almost shit herself when i moved in and put a full-size american flag in the front window. the window that faces the courtyard and walking path she has to take every day to get to her fancy, jonathan adler design filled, fuck-off apartment) is probably tossing and turning wrapped up like a bitch-burrito in her 1000 count-thread sheets. take this and shove it up your ass with your glycerin stool softeners you stiff snoot.

did i mention that slayer rules?

love,

heather

:(

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

why does this happen to me? why??? this always happens. just when i start to get comfortable. just when i start to let my guard down. just when i was getting to know you, you were taken away from me.

i will always cherish the times we had together. the first moment we met, the drives to the beach, the late nights in bed. i will never forget you. i love you.

R.I.P.

Blackjack Taco

Taco, Friend, Lover

September 2009-November 2009

Uninspired

So basically, since I haven’t been a worldly babe lately ( being in Chicago, off of tour for a couple weeks) and Heather is united with the Workforce of America ( seriously, all heather does these days is work and be absolutely glorious) I haven’t been able to post anything of worthy measure. Honestly. My life when not on tour is really really boring and mundane.

I-

• wake up
• make coffee
• smoke cigarettes
• call people about stuff related to tour ( if I’m approaching a tour)
• call people to talk about life ( if I’m not approaching a tour)
• sit on video chat
• cook and eat
• sit around some more
• go to bed
• drink beer if im not going to bed

I really don’t have anything beautiful, exciting or colorful to document. I like painting, but if I showed the world my paintings I would be vulnerable to criticism- and no matter what you might think about me due to how hard I party, I’m still a sensitive small little creature who gets sad more often than not.

The only interesting thing happening is that I leave for tour soon, and that I can cook an absolutely wonderful shepherd’s pie. You heard me- fucking delightful.

Hopefully when I get back on tour I will have interesting things to speak about or post on. Ichat wouldn’t let me get the video from heather of me cracking myself in the face with a beer bottle top, so I can’t post that on here. I’m just sitting around in almost frigid Chicago waiting to figure out my next move. Maybe I’ll grab me frame of photobooth treasure’s from the box in the hallway and post a collection of me in a photobooth with other people. Maybe I will post some artistic disaster piece on here, who knows…. but for now all I know is that I’m a lame turd who’s waiting around to leave.

xo.

sara

i wonder what i was thinking

another picture from the wedding…. Maybe it’s just the moment, or that I’m wearing a corpsepaint mask ( which has a frown by default.. it’s called a grimace) but I can’t help but to look at this and think of a million things that were probably plaguing my brain. I think i need a vacation. someone fly me somewhere beautiful.

 

xoxo.

sara

I think these chicks are trying to be us.

don’t they know that heather and I are the original Wayne and Garth duo??? What the fuck babes…. get back to your skimpy bikinis and stop trying to dress up as heather and I for halloween. I bet none of you bitches listen to R. Kelly, and you definitely have no idea about how good burzum is. THAT’S RIGHT. IM DRINKING HATERAAAAADE ON YALL.

xo.

sara

Sometimes I can be very very stubborn. I know that I can hold a grudge, and I can hold a grudge for a fucking long time. I also sometimes have a conscious with said grudge holding, that makes me think that sometimes- people who make mistakes can actually change.

I was in love with you.

You treated me like absolute garbage until the point in which I decided to free myself from your grasp, realizing that it wasn’t going to change for me.

 

And then you changed.

Now,at this point, I’m not sure whether I can be stubborn towards you. You hold me and look at me in ways where no other man could or wants to do. Sometimes I look at you, and think about how your mannerisms would be so good with a little kid at our side. I’m holding out on my solo ways until I’m absolutely sure that you are the one….. but I think we both know I’m only doing it out of pride. Here is the first song I played for you, before I even said the words… and I think we both knew that it would end up this way.

you know who you are…. and sometimes I’m mostly sorry, sometimes I’m not.

love always,

the girl that you want by your side again.

Some Pictures from the Wedding.

I was a shitshow. But at least I looked good in a dress. Sort of? Here we go.Here’s the Groom Keith and me in a butterfly mask? I didn’t even know I wore this thing at all. Blatantly at the end of the reception. Anyways…. cheers to Keith for getting married. He and his wife are fucking perfect together.

Me, the Bride Lindsay and my friend Heather Ryan ( who tried to beat me up that night, and I still fucking love that bitch) Lindsay looked fucking gorgeous ( she always does) and again, congrats to her and Keith for getting married. Never have I met 2 people that complimented each other more.

Andy,Worst ( best ever) date Jon Mirro, and my drunken self. I always have a drink in all of these pictures. I don’t know why I would flip Heather off, she took some real good photos that evening.

I wore a corpse paint mask. But everyone either thought I was some shit show from Slipknot or The Crow. Either way, I tried to demonstrate with king diamond esque brow line, that I was blatantly Norwegian and Brutal ( and drunk too… but that’s another story)
Anways… you can go to Heather Ryan’s blog ( atarigeek.blogspot.com) if you wanna see anymore of the photos. I know there is one of me kissing the bride? why oh why do I drink so much sometimes.  When I get more in, I will post them.

xoxoxo.little little.

GET OFF MY BACK

i never claimed to be the best blogger. i know i used to be a lil more prolific… but i’ve had bigger fish to fry.

one of these said “fish” was the “selling shit on ebay” fish. oh man, is that fish getting fried.

i had a minor hiccup today with one of my bigger transactions when the electro-nerd purchasing the item FLIPPED THE FUCK OUT. he had  been getting all serial killer like. asking me if he could pay in person instead of paypal. going on about how this was his “life savings” he was spending. okay, listen. there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with a person who would spend their LIFE SAVINGS something, just so they could make “weeeeeeoooooooohhhhweeeeeeeeeooooooohweeeeooooooooooooohhhhh buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz weeeeeeeeohhhhhhweeeeeeeeeoooooooooooohhhhhhh uhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnn” sounds on a fucking lousy synth. GET A LIFE.

after waiting four days for payment and getting just a snip-it of attitude from homeboy, i nipped it in the bud. i filed a failure to pay case and within minutes i received these messages:

“So, no response, huh. Well better create a new account and start buying more issues of Easyriders so you can jerk off while trying to rip innocent people off. You would have had me if you didnt offer to deliver the thing yourself. Not too bright, are we? One too many dicks in your ass will tend to harm the mind. Want to say anything? C’mon respond, air your grievance, lowlife scum. Your lucky you have a computer to hide behind. What you don’t know is that IP addresses can be traced, Better hope you covered you ass, scammer cunt.”

“Oh, hey there! How are you? Tony Danza, Heather Christie, Scammer fuck. Email me one more time and I’ll get a trace on your IP, just once!”

“I bet your getting these right away on your blackberry or iphone. Those have phone numbers, don’t they? Can phone numbers be tied to names?”

“Your mother is a whore and you were a product of incest. And a man claiming to be a woman.”

“Now i cant stop, youre a slimy cunt of the earth.”

“You a religious man, Tony? If so, your going someplace dark and firey.”

 

i want to take this opportunity to apologize (in advance) to the man; the myth; the legend; the boss: tony danza. my ebay name may lead some people to believe that i am, in fact, well… you. if you ever get assaulted in any way from some homo from san fran pissed off about some gear, or end up some place dark and firey… i’ll owe you one.

 

fuckin a,

heather