Two Worldly Babes' Blog

ALL ABOUT HUY

twoworldlybabes — Sat, 14 Aug 2010 21:39:33 +0000

i watched interview with the vampire. it made me want to interview people. and hang out with vampires.

the blog has been ignored. i have been feeling down. deal with it. or bribe me. or write super nice emails to me to help cheer me up. this is a post to let you know, i will be more focused on this blog because i am using it as a platform to interview, photograph and give propers to people i think are fuckinfantastic. put that word into bablefish and try to translate it. booyah.

the first interview i wanted to conduct has been put on the back burner due to “scheduling conflicts”. so i decided to interview one of the girls i work with. she’s the olson twin’s long lost vietnamese sister. she’s always dressed in black and perfectly over-accessorised. she’s little and loud and let me interview her.

without further adue, i present: HUY TRAN!

i like being on top!
i didn’t ask your preference. so you’re ready to start?

shoot…. pass. just kidding.

aren’t belly buttons the weirdest things ever.

yeah. but, i have an innie. so, i don’t really care.

what’s wrong with outties?

nothing. i’m just glad i have an innie.

i have an innie-outtie.

that’s cool.

can i see your belly button?

see?

what kind of boys do you like?

the ones without penises.

so you’re a lesbian?

no.

what are you then?

i would consider myself straight. but a little off kilter.

who is your dream boy?

that’s a hard question.

so, you are a lesbian!

[laughs] i like all boys. ummmm… jamie dornan. you know, from the calvin klein ads.

lesbian.

i don’t know!!!

you seem stylish. who’s your style icon.

duh.

duh?

duh. you don’t think it’s obvious.

um, me?

duh. you’re my hero. no, um… i would say abraham lincoln because he always wore big hats. and he was tall. and wore black. those are my favorite things. hats, being tall and black [pause] clothes.

is this a good interview?

well, i like the person doing the interview.

so that’s a ‘no’?

[laughs]

how often do people correctly guess that you are vietnamese?

never. so i just lie to keep it spicy.

so you like spicy things?

i don’t like tapatio. but i like a little heat.

is there a fashion phase you went through that makes you cringe when you think of it now?

mid-drift tops. i thought i was gwen stefani.

me too. what era of gwendom?

circa… hella god. rock steady.

ooooooh…

yeah. obsessed.

if you could style gwen, what would you put her in?

i don’t think of her that much anymore. that’s sad. that’s a bad answer. i know she has a line and everything, but i just don’t think of her as fashion anymore.

so, who would you want to dress?

you.

shut up. lesbian.

anna wintour.

what would you do to her? she dresses good, no?

i like her style. but, i’d change her up. i’d put her in sweat pants. but, really fancy sweat pants. like isabelle marant.

who the fuck?

she’s a designer i like a lot right now.

i’m looking her up.

or i’d put her in something crazy. like balmain.

what? who?!

b-a-l-m-a-i-n. they’re the ones that did big shoulders this season.

oh yeah…. psych. i’m looking them up. [looks it up] oh… kind of rocker chic?

isn’t it chic?

that’s what i said. i like this boy…

who?

on the balmain website.

what’s his name?

mr. balmain. or something. i don’t fucking know. i can see his belly button.

innie or outie?

outie! booyah!

I LEFT MY HEART

twoworldlybabes — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 00:19:06 +0000

TODAY!

if you live in san fran, kick it in to high gear and check this show out.

derek allbeck is the man and the show should be pretty killer. he’ll be the one with the gnar beard saying “huh?” alot.

xo,

heather

PRESENTS!

twoworldlybabes — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 00:11:38 +0000

i ordered this today!

go HERE!

turns out, homegirl runs the company that made these shirts, SO I GET PRESENTS TOO!!!

i am planning on receiving an unknown quantity of shirts with my mug on them. if you are interested in a tee with yours truly on it, let a sister know. unfortunately, it won’t be my head on Immortal’s bodies. *hmph*

thanks mitra. you rule.

xo,

heather

REGULATORS

twoworldlybabes — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 23:15:04 +0000

attention fools:

i recently had a run in with some federal officials. turned out totally fine because my swagger is so substantial and i’ve got eyes like a sad puppy cartoon. you know, the ones with the big eyelashes and the tear just about to fall. and plus, you won’t go to jail if you aren’t doing anything wrong or just act plain dumb.

anyway, here are just a couple of tips to stay out of jail.

number one:

don’t dress like kanye if you are going to skate. the first giveaway that you are causing “trouble” is the fact that you and your buddy are dressed waist down like a couple of mcdonald characters. yo, ronald… yo, grimace. you aren’t fooling anyone with those decks. plus, your dunks scream “harass me” to police and ugly girls alike. why do you think the dopest skaters wear flannel? that shit is like shredder camouflage. blends right in to the cityscape.

and number two:

my psycho ex-valet/door guy friend WILL fuck you up if you are rude to girls at jumbos. here’s a hint: DO NOT drink jager. it WILL impair your judgement. and you WILL get rowdy. and your friends AREN’T there to bail you out because you have no friends. you are a slob that goes to the local bikini bar to drink jager and give away your paycheck to girls with (or without… no judging) drug and/or over-eating problems. on the other hand, a friend of mine is a friend of jumbos, so let’s get back into the summer groove of going there. because who doesn’t love a crackhead and some shots? ;)

that’s all for today. photo credit and big ups to my man reza. long time, buddy. let’s get into some summer shenanigans.

peace and love,

heather

I’m Jumping the Gun… I know…

twoworldlybabes — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 07:24:31 +0000

But, just in the event that anyone is feeling generous out here on the interwebz, and has some money to throw at a funny babe like me, my birthday is coming up just around the corner. Actually in one month and 2 days, i will be a quarter of a century. Fuck. 25. Really not siked about this age, but what can you do? Everyone gets old, I might as well celebrate it.

anyways, if you go to amazon.com and you type in twoworldlybabes@gmail.com you will find my list of things I want. I also want other stuff, but in the same vein of items. I like taxidermy, tattoo stuff, mac make up and technology, oh and vinyl records too. I’m pretty easy to shop for considering i pretty much made a list. anyways. i’ve been packing. it’s been snowing in chicago, and i’m eager to get back to sun and shorts and debauchery.

xoxo.

sara

ps- this is me with a face mask on looking like jambi. I fucking love jambi. see? we look alike.

mekka-lekka-hi-mekka-hi-nee-ho!

Speaking of Offensive-

twoworldlybabes — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 05:08:51 +0000

This is me bumming out a teenage girl on Chatroulette! she’s probably so mad that she didn’t see her first ” man with camera on weener touching himself”. Instead she got random placed with me, the paramore scarf ninja. Oh yeah- that scarf was merch I got from paramore. I’m definitely not a hard ass metal chick if I’m admitting that. I LIKE PARAMORE. I bet the teen in this photo does too…. we could’ve been best friends. Instead, she acted like I was just as much of a bummer as some huge black cock getting jerked off into webcam world. I wish the other side of my hair would grow back already. Wouldn’t it be fun if we could shave our heads for like 2 weeks only and then it would grow back to lady length? Maybe I should install chia hair into my skull.

SHREDDING!

xo.

sara

MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY

twoworldlybabes — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 01:32:30 +0000

RIP

twoworldlybabes — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 02:06:48 +0000

my birthday twin has left this world. good thing he wrote some stuff down for us to remember him by.

“I hope to hell that when I do die somebody has the sense to just dump me in the river or something. Anything except sticking me in a goddam cemetary. People coming and putting a bunch of flowers on your stomach on Sunday, and all that crap. Who wants flowers when you’re dead? Nobody.”

<3heather

ZOMBIE CRUSH

twoworldlybabes — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 22:10:56 +0000

since we’re on the subject of face tattoos and tattoos in general, i thought i’d share one of my secret (and odd) crushes with you.

presenting, RICK the “ZOMBIE BOY”:

dear rick,

if you are reading this, feel free to email me at twoworldlybabes@gmail.com

maybe we could watch some horror or gore flicks and then go eat some brains.

let’s be friends.

sincerely,

heather

OF COURSE I KNOW THIS GUY…

twoworldlybabes — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 21:20:41 +0000

courtesy of ignored prayers

and that’s not the only “inventive” tattoo this guy has. check out this gem:

the lesson today is that tattoos are forever. sara and i have our fair share. some of which are completely bogus. some of which are meaningful. some of which are funny. i personally like tattoos. i’m not even really hating on homeboy here. he’s doing something extraordinary. but, folks… if you are the type to cry over a bad haircut, tattoos are probably not for you.

for more photos click here

to purchase RAYBANS so you can spare yourself some needle pain click here

<3heather